Response & Date

Response to Vol.2

Perhaps my response was not to your satisfaction, but at least whatever I said was the truth. No fabrication. I understand your drift, i will try my best to be what you want. It may not happened overnight, but I hope time will show. Everybody makes mistakes. Me too.

Response to Joy.

My family problems will not be easy to solve as addiction is hard to take away. Nobody always make the right decisions, is perspective problem. I do hope I can always make the right decision to please everybody. After all, one person plays many roles in his/her life.

Date!

I was telling Joy we should meet up in the coming week to have desert time. CHEESECAKE! Didn't dare to date you all because in the coming week, I may have sudden OT to do. Hope we are able to meet up over desert! I know Tues, dearest JOY will not be free.

No HOTLINE time period

contacting me can be a little tricky at times. now that there's one less channel to reach me, it adds on to the difficulty in contacting me. LOL!

joy, as much as i understand that you care, i am somehow reluctant to reinstate the line because i...

1. am too apathetic and lazy on the upper hand to head down to starhub to get my sim card changed.
2. maybe it's a good time to shake off my obsession with all the entertainments that Steve Jobs and co. has bestowed me with.

gawhhhh.

nevertheless, it will be great if you go get an iphone. perhaps you can get me better on no.2 :) or maybe i should revive my phone when you get yours at the same time. && i don't like your chinese proverb remix ('neng chi ku fang wei ren shang ren'). Original version sounds so much better leiihhzzxx.. WAHAHAHA!!!

I AM UPZ.

wanna tell my friends that as much as i complain i do care about each and every one of you.

i care that miao gets her hp soon.. so that we can contact her.

i care that jerline will stop smoking, because she would just prove fj right (that changes are only temporary).

i care that yenling will get her family matters resolved.. and that she would make the right decisions at the right time.

i will care that i will get an iphone so i can group chat with you all on iphone okay. but maybe in may, when my contract ends.

anyway i really feel sick and tired of my job. like seriously neeeed a change.

in fact i dont even feel like working. but i know saying this is bullshitz cos i would still have to work to earn a living. but i will tahan. neng chi ku fang wei ren shang ren.

Vol. 2

Thank you yenling for your response. First, i do not think i've made my points clear enough in the previous post but i guess you girls should have a better understanding of what i'm meant. IF YOU DON'T, perhaps we can all have a face to face discussion. After all, I ain't in the best position to say much given the fact that I am guilty on my part too. I could have done better and contributed more. I chose not to.
Admittedly, I'm a very impatient and temperament fella and I'm trying to retain my composure from time to time on most occasions. Now that i'm in a more stable state to speak, i shall then use the chance to catch up on the same issue.

In my own perspective view, the crux of the matter lies gravely on societal pressures and trying to conform. It's seemingly impossible to strike a balance among all that matters to us; between friends and boyfriend on top of having to juggle with family and other personal issues. Unless we split ourselves into two to be at different places at a time. LOL! because we are not biological engineered to possess the incredible ability, we are bound to set priorities and make choices in life.

Yenling, it was good to do some clarifications nonetheless. But i was abit mad over what you said the other day (half or more of the contents were about jofri), because i expected better from you. My bad. I understand your intentions of wanting to stand by Jofri, I just wish you could make time out for us the way you'd do for Jofri (if you get my drift).

On my part, I understand that my frequent missing in actions are darn frustrating. To clear the air a little, I'm coming to a stop at crossways when i'm supposed to continue with the rat race. Before i make the decision which path i decides to take on (and continues the race), I'm going through hell loads of mental ordeals. First, I sees myself as an underacheiver. I could have gotten a decent diploma like how you all did, and maybe progress to take a degree. Instead, I went all out and make my life even more complicated. Now i'm contemplating whether to start on what i've missed out over the past couple of years, or to just continue what i've been doing lately, in the hopes of climbing up the ladder.

Next, in the midst of planning the future, I've thoughts of moving to somewhere more peaceful (least for me). like i have mentioned to yenling, i might not be coming back to singapore after my course. I know this is going to be a huge stepping stone to settle in a total new environment etc., there are alot of factors i've to take into considerations.

We can barely see / know what's going to unfold in the next 5-10 years. There are point of times we have to re-evaluate our priorities. We have goals to achieve, expectations to live up to and responsibilities to bear. But without the people around, it's hard to paint the big picture. what's the point of accomplishment when you have nobody around to share with ?

What we have now may not seems to be a huge issue. i think it should be appropriate to address it out and work out the differences rather than keeping it to ourselves. Unhealthy and stuffs like these often leads to a blunt ending. Friends are like wine, the older the better (at least to me)!

Last but not least, i'm surprised that joy the great have yet to utilise this page to voice out her thoughts. HAHAHA!

"Friends are certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love, but do not knock the door of the kindred only in time of calamity"- YOURS TRULY !

Apology

I don't mean to let my girls down.

Things have been changing. I may not have been a good friend, but it doesn't mean I don't love my girls.

I am sorry.

Battling Hearts, Troubling Mind

Dear Girls,

To your great astonishment, this space is still of recognition to yours truly! I've means to revive this page long enough and finally able to accomplish my wish since time had allowed me to.

First and foremost, I'm enjoying living the days in solitude. Though it has been a rather disturbing one, at least I have the time to really think through stuffs. I apologise if my missing in actions upset anyone. On a sad note, I'm not back from the limbo of uncertainty. I need to solve a few more puzzles to earn the totem to return to earth.

Furthermore, to be brutally honest, my purpose of this writing is not about the revival of this space. In fact, I'd like to address certain issues which have been bothering me since some time back; US. This time, i really want to get this terrible feeling off my chest. Well, I hope you all understand that i'm not using this chance to rant, complain, or to point fingers. I just want this to be resolved before it gets worst. Hopefully, all of us can spare some time to reflect on these, and perhaps we can use some day to really sit down and discuss.

It's not easy to slot time out for a dinner or meetup given our busy schedule, which revolves around family, work, relationship, and planning the future etc.. But i don't understand why we are having a hard time to get together when we are just a call away ? There are a few possibilities which popped out in my head when i think about this:

1. IS IT BECAUSE OF ME BEING HARD TO REACH ?
2. IS IT WE ARE NOT ONE ANOTHER'S PRIORITIES ANYMORE ?

where did the good old days where we used to crash at the hideout went to ?

In regards to this issue, I will like to express my disappointment. Yen Ling, what happened to you? I know it's difficult to juggle between your boyfriend and us alongside with work and family, some times, you just have to set our priorities. Maybe we are not. and if we ain't what you are concerned about, least say so. I miss the old Yen Ling who leave a day or two just for us, or who will be there when one of us are down.

For instance, when Joy was hospitalised, you weren't there to visit. As for what happened on Jerline's birthday (if you'd noticed), it surfaced to me that you merely wanted more time with your boyfriend than being there for J.
Maybe it was an abrupt plan or communication breakdown problem, you should at least let us know. with no explanations, you proved to me that we are only set as your priorities only when you have no other agendas, and that your world only revolves around jofri mainly.
I've been tactful towards you long enough. I'm saying it out not because I'm mad. Instead, I'm very upset. Because you are my friend, I want to be honest with you. Adding on to that, I hope you can trust us as your true friends and be honest with us as well.

On a happy note, i appreciate Joy's contribution to our friendship, she've always been our perpetual organiser, and always be there when shits happened (Summer Breeze, the sad depressing place for 2010). About this, i guess it's time i have to make some contributions and not weigh joy joy down too much.

Not to forget, Jerline, i'm sorry for being the last to be there for you during your recent heartbreak. I'm really not good with words, and i don't handle tears well. In the case you need a pair of listening ears in the future, you will know how to reach out to me.

Lastly, i really do think i need to brush up on my writing. thanks to the large exposure of singlish, hokkien and chinese. Ignore all grammatic errors and I APOLOGISE IF I'M TOO HARSH ON MY WORDS. Nonetheless, i'm very certain that if we really want this friendship to last, we have to resolve the present issues face to face. If a cat fight can bring us stronger, i will vote for violence.

HELLO ?

why nobody blog ?

WHY WHY WHY ??????

neh-way, MEET UP SOON.

see, 90% of our blog posts are about meet up soon, and it makes me so sad :(